I am out in Santa Fe with Jaff. Through a generous offer, we have been able to stay in a house on many acres out towards Cerillos, a town south of Santa Fe. Besides the incredible vistas, there is also a wonderful quiet. In St. Petersburg there was always the hum of traffic. Invariably, we would lie down for a nap only to hear a minute later someone starting a lawn mower or a leaf blower. Some years back a friend of Jaff described this as the "mantra of the suburban male." The man who lived across the street from us was particularly a fanatic when it came to leaf blowing. At first it seemed odd since he didn't have a tree on his property. Then it began to dawn on me that this was precisely why his leaf blowing was done with such ferocity. The tree was in his neighbor's yard. It was a beautiful old oak tree, one of the trees that added so much to St. Petersburg's character. The canopy covered most of the owner's front yard. It was so big that it had to be cut to make way for the power lines on one side and yes, the other side did trespass onto the leaf blowing fanatic's property. It became a joke between Jaff and me, since so often at certain moments when we were seeking the quietude, the roar of the leaf blower would disrupt us. So we are greatly appreciating the quiet where we are now.
As my sixtieth year creeps ever closer (not that I am in contention with growing older) I realize how high on my list of what I desire quiet is. We are engaged in discussions about where we want to live and what is important to us. We agree on the quiet. We also concur on natural beauty. Neither of us want to live in a city. The Gulf of Mexico is very lovely, but it is also nearly impossible to see from Gulf Boulevard with all of the condos, hotels, and private homes. The buildings are so close to one another that it looks as if people are seeing into each others' homes. We are increasingly covetous of a sense of space and privacy. Both of these are in bountiful supply where we are staying. There are the caretakers, Bob and Joyce, but they oversee many properties and take care of horses so they are seldom here. Bob is a whistler, so we hear him more than we see him. Here, we are surrounded by mountains. The landscape is dotted with junipers and pinon pines. The sky is immense and there are distinctive cloud formations; great sailing islands, wispy cirrus giant aeons, or rows of clouds that form gray banks, and then enormous thunderheads. A few days ago we saw the biggest rainbow either of us had ever seen.
The ever full feeders attract many birds, most prominently the crows, the blue pinon jays and a smaller bird, either a finch or a sparrow. I keep promising myself to look in the guide to southwestern bids and learn what is what. A writer ought to be familiar with the natural world he is seeing? Of course there is no question when it comes to the hummingbirds (although there seems to be more than one species of them) and jackrabbits, the coyotes and Spider Mother-the beautiful black and orange tarantula. The birds are active all day, swooping and darting from the pinon pines to the feeder and then back to the top of a juniper. There is a garden and an abundance of tall purple flowering sage and natural grasses. There is a full moon now and the pack of coyotes are very vocal.
Our day usually begins with a gorgeous sunrise. We take our coffee in bed and I read out loud to Jaff for a half hour or so. Then the rest of the morning is engaged in creative projects. Time is another item high on our requirements. Time for creativity, for each other and to acknowledge the natural world. There is no television here. Jaff had cured me of my television addiction from the first of our meeting. Television watching was where my mother and I had safely connected during the last ten years of her life when I lived with her as her care giver. I miss her, but not the television. I find it hard to believe that I watched so much television during my life. It is a thief. It stole my time. Our time becomes increasingly valuable.
I grow less interested in popular culture and politics with each passing day. Rarely do I go to the movies anymore. I have resigned from the Celebrity Cult Club of America. My personal opinion is that it too can rob us of our time. Why I ever cared what any celebrity thought about anything, why I gave their opinion somehow more gravity, is beyond my comprehension now. It really did feel like I was hypnotized. I refer to it all as my somnambulist years.
I am awake. Now I am trying to catch up in the time left to me, the increasingly valuable time. I want to be creative in a place of natural beauty and enjoy my time with Jaff, my friends, and family. Every so often I catch a vision of Jaff and me in a deep forest, next to a stream with a cottage. He has dreamed of living in the south of France. We both believe we all create our own reality. Now we are doing it with a greater awareness of that fact. We are visualizing what we want. In the last two years I have changed so many of my beliefs. I am continuing to do so. I am finding a voice that I once thought I had no right too. It is a voice I hope to use in the greater service of the world. It isn't all about money. It is all about love.
As my sixtieth year creeps ever closer (not that I am in contention with growing older) I realize how high on my list of what I desire quiet is. We are engaged in discussions about where we want to live and what is important to us. We agree on the quiet. We also concur on natural beauty. Neither of us want to live in a city. The Gulf of Mexico is very lovely, but it is also nearly impossible to see from Gulf Boulevard with all of the condos, hotels, and private homes. The buildings are so close to one another that it looks as if people are seeing into each others' homes. We are increasingly covetous of a sense of space and privacy. Both of these are in bountiful supply where we are staying. There are the caretakers, Bob and Joyce, but they oversee many properties and take care of horses so they are seldom here. Bob is a whistler, so we hear him more than we see him. Here, we are surrounded by mountains. The landscape is dotted with junipers and pinon pines. The sky is immense and there are distinctive cloud formations; great sailing islands, wispy cirrus giant aeons, or rows of clouds that form gray banks, and then enormous thunderheads. A few days ago we saw the biggest rainbow either of us had ever seen.
The ever full feeders attract many birds, most prominently the crows, the blue pinon jays and a smaller bird, either a finch or a sparrow. I keep promising myself to look in the guide to southwestern bids and learn what is what. A writer ought to be familiar with the natural world he is seeing? Of course there is no question when it comes to the hummingbirds (although there seems to be more than one species of them) and jackrabbits, the coyotes and Spider Mother-the beautiful black and orange tarantula. The birds are active all day, swooping and darting from the pinon pines to the feeder and then back to the top of a juniper. There is a garden and an abundance of tall purple flowering sage and natural grasses. There is a full moon now and the pack of coyotes are very vocal.
Our day usually begins with a gorgeous sunrise. We take our coffee in bed and I read out loud to Jaff for a half hour or so. Then the rest of the morning is engaged in creative projects. Time is another item high on our requirements. Time for creativity, for each other and to acknowledge the natural world. There is no television here. Jaff had cured me of my television addiction from the first of our meeting. Television watching was where my mother and I had safely connected during the last ten years of her life when I lived with her as her care giver. I miss her, but not the television. I find it hard to believe that I watched so much television during my life. It is a thief. It stole my time. Our time becomes increasingly valuable.
I grow less interested in popular culture and politics with each passing day. Rarely do I go to the movies anymore. I have resigned from the Celebrity Cult Club of America. My personal opinion is that it too can rob us of our time. Why I ever cared what any celebrity thought about anything, why I gave their opinion somehow more gravity, is beyond my comprehension now. It really did feel like I was hypnotized. I refer to it all as my somnambulist years.
I am awake. Now I am trying to catch up in the time left to me, the increasingly valuable time. I want to be creative in a place of natural beauty and enjoy my time with Jaff, my friends, and family. Every so often I catch a vision of Jaff and me in a deep forest, next to a stream with a cottage. He has dreamed of living in the south of France. We both believe we all create our own reality. Now we are doing it with a greater awareness of that fact. We are visualizing what we want. In the last two years I have changed so many of my beliefs. I am continuing to do so. I am finding a voice that I once thought I had no right too. It is a voice I hope to use in the greater service of the world. It isn't all about money. It is all about love.